Y.A.M.I.L.Y Introductions: Week One

   As I woke up this am it hits me how excited I am to launch our very first collaboration. Seeing this come together has been a long time dream of mine. 

I have spent hours searching page and group for kids on the spectrum, and YES there is many out there, but none that fit US. None that I could take my love for photography, my love for documenting our lives and share through my lens as well as through my lips, the challenges, the victories, the stresses and relationships. I wanted a place to be able to reach out to other parents and have them reach back in the same way. I wanted a little Y.A.M.I.L.Y ( you are my "I love you" ) and I have found it in these 6 wonderful ladies. I have heard their stories, their raw & honest stories. I have shared theirs cheers and I have shared their tears, and now we want to share it all with you. So without further ado I will get this first introduction collaboration started. 

"I am your nightlight, you are my sunshine" Crystal & Gracie.

      Hi, Crystal here, and my oldest girl Gracie. We both picked this quote together, WHY because then that way if gave Gracie a little control over the situation. Control is our lives with her. Since she was little we know she was a head strong little girl, but we also noticed she was an amazing little girl. She would at age 3 put colours into rainbow patterns. The older she got the more the control and being in the familiar overtook her. She needed a strong structure, and she needed to feel like she has some kind of control over her environment. There were other things we noticed along the way too. the sensitives to light, sound, taste, touch and smells. The way she would miss out on social ques, and many other things the list could go on and on. So make it simple that is when we started looking closer at the spectrum, and the first stop we stopped at was Aspergers. My husbands brother has Aspergers, and we knew from research that it genes are very heritable. That is when we decided to jump in and get her looked at. That was when she was 4. At the time we were told she was too young to determine for sure, and the fact that we had already self diagnosed her and been working strategies so well their was little need for an assessment. Now fast forward 6 years and we are currently working through the developmental process. You see we did our best. We used those strategies, but nobody told us how much that would change along the way. How much more that control would take over and turn to anxiety, how much more the social cues would still be missed while all the classmates around her are developing social skills every day. BUT I also was never told how much this little girl would hijack my heart. How much she would change me, teach me and make me a better me. How amazing those victories would feel after a long struggle. How much pride I would have in one child for overcoming something I have seen adults crumble to their knees over. Along with all those points above that make her diagnosis, there is also so many points that make her the most wonderful person I know. Her creativity inspires me everyday, her logic leaves me thinking new thoughts, her ideas gives me a new path to take. Her heart shines brighter than anyone I have ever seen.

   This is why we picked "I am your nightlight, and you are my sunshine." Because to Gracie, I am her night light. Night is always been a time when she needs me to be there for her the most. Night is when all those thoughts and anxieties from her day come to confront her. That is when most of all in her life she needs me to be the light in her darkness, the comfort in her worry. The person to talk her down off the ledge over something we might just shrug off. I have many nights sitting in the glow of a nightlight, walking her through her day. But I would not EVER take back one of those nights.

     For me she is my sunshine, she is my happy when my skies are grey. She is my light in the day to day. Even though she lacks empathy during an anxiety meltdown, she has more than enough left over not during a meltdown, for when she sees someone having a bad day. Not during a meltdown, she is warm, kind, and sensitive to your emotions more then you are. She has pulled me aside numerous time to tell me she feels how I am feeling and knows I just need a hug. And that my friends is the greatest thing when your skies are grey, we all just need a hug every once in a while, with some conformations that someone knows how we feel. She makes my every grey day, full of sunshine. And don't worry, I turn it all around on her at night and I am the one offering comfort and hugs. 

"I am your favorite book, you are my new line" Melissa & A

                                      

Hi! I'm Melissa. My middle, A, is three and a half years old. He has sensory issues and development delays. I could continue writing about what his sensory issues and developmental delays are, but if there is one thing I hope to show, it's that he's so much more than that. Yes, we may have to approach parenting him differently. But that's okay. And we are learning together as a family. I have learned from him that there is beauty in documenting the hard times and the victories and everything in between. That is why I really like the line "I am your favorite book; you are my new lines."

In my selfie image, I had just finished holding him for a sensory meltdown that had lasted about 30 minutes. He had finally started to calm down as he rested his head on my chest and listened to my heartbeat. As hard as it is to have to handle sensory meltdowns, I will face it with him. And I will be his familiar place and comfort after. Always.

In the image of just A, he had tried to spit on the ground (I blame his older brother for that one!) and he happened to get some on him. One of his biggest sensory meltdown triggers is when he gets wet when he just shouldn't be. But instead of losing control of the situation, he decided to handle it and take his shirt off. A victory. He discovered a solution to the situation that helped him keep control. And I'll take it.